My skills are being put to the test, you see I have spent many years making it my primary goal to addict men to me. And what I can give to them, how I can control them. And done quite well at my filling my goal. Been very successful at it. And this past week one male who shall remain nameless after a few days away, called me at the normal time 6:00am est, we talked a short bit then he had to go off to work.
Short time later I received an email saying he needed to stop. I replied to his e mail telling him that I hold the power the key in my hand as to just how successful his recovery will be.
Then I emailed him yesterday reminding him of where he is and who controls his addiction and how easy it will be to trash his goal. To drag him back into the world of deep dark desires of porn drugs and derivation. I know what his kinks are as well as how to trip his trigger and send him tail spinning into the same ol same ol. And giving him the chance for a rebuttal.
To my surprise he didn’t give me a rebuttal but and explanation, telling me here, read for yourself!
Just want you to know that you are the best at what you do. No one
even comes close and no one ever will. This is the toughest thing that
I will ever do. And there is a very, very good chance that I will not
succeed. You know better than anyone else the success rate of recovery
against addiction, especially this type of addiction. I just like it TOO much.
I am not going to offer a rebuttal, but an explanation.
I will not share the rest…. as it is very personal however I will share this last statement he made in our email exchange…
This all brought home the reality that I am really destroying myself.
I do not want to be an active participant in my own self-destruction.
So Now I am tested… and I replied to him saying I know what trips him and will cause him to get back into the swing as well as the out of control tail spin… It isn’t going to be easy for me… But I will be there if he needs to talk, I will be there is he needs a friend…